i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you never un-have a 4some
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