every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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