Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
