the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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