that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
