Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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