I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
