Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
