I seem to have left my pride at pride
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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