I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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