oh god the rape fog is back!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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