Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
