Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
