Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize