u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
