What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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