come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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