I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
