So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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