Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize