Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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