The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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