Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

You surviving the open bar?

(1-512): View more from Texas

Super asto ex polenta omaha botad

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(512): You surviving the open bar? (1-512): Super asto ex polenta omaha botad http://tfl.nu/tyvd

Replies (15) Good night (1819) Bad night (581)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!

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(616): I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off! http://tfl.nu/woe1

Replies (50) Good night (3378) Bad night (711)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

(503): View more from Oregon

Succeeded.

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(404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020

Replies (7) Good night (4602) Bad night (642)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am

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(605): im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am http://tfl.nu/dc3c

Replies (9) Good night (3333) Bad night (1215)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu

Replies (8) Good night (6767) Bad night (965)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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(763): FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though. http://tfl.nu/i3qf

Replies (6) Good night (2479) Bad night (1043)
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(713): View more from Texas

just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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(713): just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal http://tfl.nu/dg00

Replies (10) Good night (3490) Bad night (772)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q

Replies (4) Good night (1501) Bad night (627)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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(803): We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young. http://tfl.nu/kv9f

Replies (2) Good night (1745) Bad night (508)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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(423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth

Replies (3) Good night (1157) Bad night (536)
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(438): View more from Quebec

Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.

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(438): Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up. http://tfl.nu/g79y

Replies (4) Good night (1365) Bad night (682)
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(256): View more from Alabama

That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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(256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou

Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (490)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?

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(570): Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises? http://tfl.nu/4z08

Replies (1) Good night (496) Bad night (207)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?

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(908): He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling? http://tfl.nu/dpwn

Replies (9) Good night (439) Bad night (367)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.

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(978): Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke. http://tfl.nu/qgmx

Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (155)

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