i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.