Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

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  (248) Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well. http://tfl.nu/x3ib
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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  (620): I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about http://tfl.nu/33to
  Replies (23) Good night (828) Bad night (4526)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (961) Bad night (4186)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.

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  (908): he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me. http://tfl.nu/x367
  Replies (16) Good night (4701) Bad night (3625)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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  (501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt
  Replies (27) Good night (4567) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

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  (631): we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility http://tfl.nu/kdjh
  Replies (11) Good night (3409) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.

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  (+44): I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage. http://tfl.nu/0e7q
  Replies (7) Good night (2881) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.

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  (770): Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever. http://tfl.nu/w4kd
  Replies (7) Good night (2650) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.

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  (765): A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins. http://tfl.nu/d999
  Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (2586)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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  (707): New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice http://tfl.nu/6azx
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.

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  (407): the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much. http://tfl.nu/a71i
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  Are you high?

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  (701): I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea. (1-701): Are you high? http://tfl.nu/ioya
  Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever

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  (757): We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever http://tfl.nu/xy9z
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve

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  (630): A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve http://tfl.nu/0ike
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.

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  (253): I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened. http://tfl.nu/oovd
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (283)

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