The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high