You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling