Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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