i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
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Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.