On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
