I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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