His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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