Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.