you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
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mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me