my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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