You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.