Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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