What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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