No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
