You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize