What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
