they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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