is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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