just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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