Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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