Just fell off a train. Bad.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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