good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
