I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was like getting head from an anaconda
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize