How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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