try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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