Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My bed smells like the plague
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
