Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
