Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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