Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize