Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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