Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
