stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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