it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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