i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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