Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
