its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
