My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
