it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
